No macro trackingNo before photosSeveral excellent dinners
Pairing labPinot, Gruyere, and one clipboard nobody requested.French paradox filesA literature review with table wine.Protocol complianceThirty days, zero macros, one cheese drawer.Approved picksCheese subscriptions pretending to be research.
As debated atCheese countersDinner partiesGroup textsExactly zero clinical boards
Latest prescriptions
Start with the current issue.
Pairing Guide
The Pinot Noir + Gruyère Protocol: A Peer-Reviewed Pairing
Researchers have long suspected that Pinot Noir and Gruyère belong together. New data from our kitchen table confirms it.
Gougères: The French Cheese Puff You Make Once and Can Never Stop Making
A dispatch from the Burgundian cheese puff rabbit hole — where choux pastry meets Gruyère, wine cellars become tasting rooms, and no one leaves with fewer than three batches in the freezer.
The $8 Mushroom Latte vs. a $14 Glass of Burgundy: A Scientific Comparison
Both promise to fix your brain, calm your nervous system, and justify the price. One has human clinical trial data. The other has very compelling packaging and a lot of mice.
What I Taught My Daughters About Châteauneuf-du-Pape Before They Could Drive
Jules didn't wait until her daughters were old enough to drink. She started with the stones. A dispatch on terroir, inheritance, and the things worth passing down before the car keys ever enter the picture.
How to Walk Into a Cheese Shop Without Feeling Like a Fraud
A proper cheese shop is not a test you forgot to study for. Here is what to say, what to ask, and how to taste like someone who has done this before — even if you haven't.
1.8 Million People Were Studied. Cheese Was Not the Problem.
A landmark meta-analysis covering 1.8 million participants found that moderate cheese consumption is not linked to cardiovascular disease — and may actually reduce the risk. The $72 billion wellness industry has been unusually quiet about this.
A comprehensive field study in progress. Publication is expected shortly after the weight is actually lost, which we are told can happen on this diet. The timeline remains flexible.
In the meantime, we are having a genuinely excellent time with the research. The Burgundy is open. The Gruyere is out. The outline exists and is very promising.
Field Research
100%
Outline
62%
Writing
14%
Weight Lost So Far
3%
I started the protocol three weeks ago. I have not lost a single pound. I have also not cared about that, not even a little.
Margaux F.Pinot devotee
My doctor asked what I'd been eating. I showed her the cheese drawer. She said this explains nothing. I feel that's a fairly strong clinical endorsement.
Thomas B.Aged Gouda specialist
The protocol is working exactly as described. I am more interesting at dinner parties and significantly more relaxed about carbohydrates.
Sarah K.Recent Burgundy convert
The 3% is disputed internally. It may have been water weight from a particularly aggressive sparkling wine evening. We are running additional trials.
The Wine & Cheese Diet
