No macro trackingNo before photosSeveral excellent dinners
Pairing labPinot, Gruyere, and one clipboard nobody requested.French paradox filesA literature review with table wine.Protocol complianceThirty days, zero macros, one cheese drawer.Approved picksCheese subscriptions pretending to be research.
As debated atCheese countersDinner partiesGroup textsExactly zero clinical boards
Latest prescriptions
Start with the current issue.
Pairing Guide
The Pinot Noir + Gruyère Protocol: A Peer-Reviewed Pairing
Researchers have long suspected that Pinot Noir and Gruyère belong together. New data from our kitchen table confirms it.
The Cheese Napoleon Allegedly Beheaded: The Story of Valençay
Valençay is a French AOP goat cheese from the Berry region with a distinctive flat-topped pyramid shape and a legend involving Napoleon, a sword, and a very bad mood about Egypt. One of those things is verifiable.
The 10-Minute Walk After Dinner That Outperforms Things You Pay Monthly For
A brief walk after dinner measurably blunts post-meal blood sugar spikes, and the research on timing is specific enough to be genuinely useful. You do not need a kettlebell.
The French Don't Count Macros. They Spend 2 Hours Eating Lunch.
French adults spend roughly 2 hours and 22 minutes per day eating — seated, in company, across three courses. The $72 billion wellness industry would like you to believe there's a more efficient approach.
Resveratrol Was a Lie (Sort Of): What Wine Science Actually Shows
For two decades, resveratrol was the molecule that made wine virtuous. Then the human data arrived. The compound didn't disappear, exactly — it just got demoted from hero to garnish.
We Spent $200 Each on a Juice Cleanse and Ended Up Ordering a Cheese Plate
Three days, six bottles of cold-pressed optimism per day, and roughly the cost of a very good Burgundy. A blow-by-blow account of what actually happens when two people pay boutique prices to be hungry on purpose.
A comprehensive field study in progress. Publication is expected shortly after the weight is actually lost, which we are told can happen on this diet. The timeline remains flexible.
In the meantime, we are having a genuinely excellent time with the research. The Burgundy is open. The Gruyere is out. The outline exists and is very promising.
Field Research
100%
Outline
62%
Writing
14%
Weight Lost So Far
3%
I started the protocol three weeks ago. I have not lost a single pound. I have also not cared about that, not even a little.
Margaux F.Pinot devotee
My doctor asked what I'd been eating. I showed her the cheese drawer. She said this explains nothing. I feel that's a fairly strong clinical endorsement.
Thomas B.Aged Gouda specialist
The protocol is working exactly as described. I am more interesting at dinner parties and significantly more relaxed about carbohydrates.
Sarah K.Recent Burgundy convert
The 3% is disputed internally. It may have been water weight from a particularly aggressive sparkling wine evening. We are running additional trials.
The Wine & Cheese Diet
